Written by Annabelle Yau
“If you do it alone, you will always do it alone.”
The quote comes from Justin Whitmel Earley, in his book “Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms”. The original context is derived from the idea that as parents, if we never invite our children into the chores that we do at home, such as washing the dishes or sweeping the floor, then our children would never be interested in doing them.
The ideology reminded me of a story a friend once told me. When my friend’s daughter was young, every time they finished grocery shopping together coming home, her daughter would run out of the car, eager to help her mother carry the groceries into the house. However, because the bags were too heavy and big, she would always tell her child, “Just go into the house; the bags are too heavy, I can do it myself”. Eventually, when the child got older, the child stopped asking, and when the child finally had the strength to carry the load, she walked into the house straight from the car, never looking back to her mother to offer her help. My friend exclaimed that it was one of her regrets, and if she were to do it all again, she would have let her daughter help when she was younger, even if it was just one small item from the bag that she could carry.
As I reflected on this story, I couldn’t help but see a deeper pattern—one that goes beyond parenting. It reminds me so much of our relationship with God. We don’t bother asking God for help because we feel that we are self-sufficient, and that we can carry our bags ourselves; we can carry our burdens ourselves. We think of ourselves as self-sufficient, but was that not the mistake of King Asa?
In 2 Chronicles 16:7-9, we read:
“And at that time Hanani the seer came to Asa king of Judah, and said to him: ‘Because you have relied on the king of Syria, and have not relied on the LORD your God, therefore the army of the king of Syria has escaped from your hand. Were the Ethiopians and the Lubim not a huge army with very many chariots and horsemen? Yet, because you relied on the LORD, He delivered them into your hand. For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him. In this you have done foolishly; therefore from now on you shall have wars.'”
Like the eager child in the story, God had shown Himself ready to assist and help, to show Himself strong on behalf of the kings. In fact, verse 9 paints a beautiful picture: God’s eyes are actively running “to and fro throughout the whole earth,” searching for those whose hearts are loyal to Him so that He can strengthen them. Yet King Asa turned to physical kings and armies for his success instead of God, who had helped him before. Even to his death, he relied on worldly solutions and did not seek after the Lord:
“And in the thirty-ninth year of his reign, Asa became diseased in his feet, and his malady was severe; yet in his disease he did not seek the LORD, but the physicians.” (2 Chronicles 16:12)
It wasn’t wrong for Asa to seek medical help—but it was wrong to seek it instead of God, to pursue earthly remedies without first turning to the One who had delivered him before.
We contrast this to King Hezekiah, in the middle of King Sennacherib’s great Assyrian conquest threatening the Kingdom of Judah. King Hezekiah was surrounded, the last one standing against a great threat, being taunted by the enemy themselves. King Hezekiah physically spread out the letter of taunt before the Lord and prayed (2 Kings 19:14):
“And Hezekiah received the letter from the hand of the messengers, and read it; and Hezekiah went up to the house of the LORD, and spread it before the LORD.”
King Hezekiah relied on the Lord, trusting in God’s protection and provision, and praying that God would save them from the enemy’s hand “so that all the kingdoms of the earth may know that You alone, LORD, are God” (2 Kings 19:19). He didn’t seek his own glory or deliverance alone, but God’s glory above all.
Furthermore, even in his illness, instead of relying solely on physical physicians like Asa, Hezekiah turned to God first. When the prophet Isaiah came to him and said, “Thus says the LORD: ‘Set your house in order, for you shall die, and not live,'” Hezekiah turned his face toward the wall and prayed to the Lord—and God granted him 15 more years to live (2 Kings 20:1-6).
If we try to do it alone, we will always do it alone. Let us practice depending on God, and we can start with one small item in our bags. Let us go to God in prayer for the small things, even if they seem too trivial to mention—like asking for safety on our morning commute, wisdom before a difficult conversation, patience with our children, or simply thanking Him when something good happens. Eventually, we may get more comfortable inviting God to carry our larger burdens, like our trials, tribulations, and even things too painful to admit or say out loud. For God will show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him (2 Chronicles 16:9).